Q is for Quorums

So I had NO idea what to write for Q. I've actually lost my motivation to finish this A-Z thing but I hate leaving things unfinished....so I am continuing on.

In trying to find a word that begins with Q, my husband (the man of few words) says 'what about quorum?'  Ummmm....what?   That's not a word.  Yes it is, he insists.  So then I'm trying to find it on a list somewhere in cyberspace.  It's there..only it needs an s.  He even knew the basic definition of it.  Impressive!
 
So, if you're like me and DON'T know what 'quorums' means; it is a gathering of the minimal number of members of an organization to conduct business. (Definition from Scrabblefinder.com.)

And, in case you're wondering, it will get you 18 points in Scrabble and 21 in Words With Friends.

You learn something new every day!

My 9th Mother's Day

Gifts from my hubby, children and in-laws

I can not believe I have had nine mother's days!! 

Honestly, I know the occasion of Mother's Day began as a means to further the card- and gift industry via the heart-felt expressions of children to their mothers.  And it's really not a big deal to me in that way.  I don't really care about cards, candy, flowers, gifts.  For me, this day is just one of many on which I contemplate my vocation in life: Motherhood.

(It's just A LOT easier to do when I don't have anything else I need to do because my children and husband are doing it for me.)   :-)

I'm not a mother to just any children.  I'm a mother to God's children.  God gave me these children with specific instructions: "Teach them about My perfect Love by loving them yourself.  Raise them to know Me.  Raise them to have hearts to serve Me and others.  Be open to each gift I give to you through them; from the first moment of their tiny lives in your womb until you are no longer with them."  It's a set of simple-sounding instructions but with very complicated measures, deep meaning, and hidden truths abounding.  It's a conviction and a challenge that often brings me to my knees.  I suspect that is exactly one of the main purposes of motherhood - to bring us to our knees....constantly.

Me and Angelina (7 1/2) at my 30th birthday party

In this post 4 years ago, I wrote about the first few mother's days I was blessed to celebrate.  My first was when I was two-months' pregnant with my oldest child, Angelina.  Now, here I am with my fifth child growing in my womb and I can't seem to grasp how time has passed.  I think about my mom and how she raised seven babies, all close in age like mine, in a smallish house like mine, staying home with us like I do with mine.  I think about how much she did right, and how much she did wrong.  She herself will tell you she failed at a lot of things (though many of those I think she is too hard on herself about). I think any mother who is convicted with the truth of motherhood knows too-well how much they fail at times.  BUT, I also think about the fact that my mother did not fail at the most important aspect - following that set of instructions God buries in a mother's heart and reminds her of with each child.

My baby belly - 4 months w/#5

Sure, just like with all mothers, the means to get there might not have been perfect, the path not always straight, the timing not immediate.  But my mother did succeed in loving us, teaching us of God's love, giving us hearts to serve Him and others, and being open to the gifts He gave to her through our lives.  Despite troubled times, difficult circumstances and imperfect timing, she allowed His blessing of SEVEN babies, plus one that did not make it.  She loved us with everything she had.  She planted in our hearts the knowledge of God's love, power, grace and plans; making sure we knew that He did indeed have a specific plan for each of our lives and that we *should* follow it.  She did her best, knowing full-well that we might stray from our paths in varying shades, but giving the control to Him with the understanding that He would bring us back.  My mother did the number one act of Love that every mother should do, and that was to pray for us.  Daily.  Everything else, all the blips, faults, failures don't mean too terribly much, for the most important instruction she was given was fulfilled. 

My mom showing Aidan and Bella their new little sister, Sophia (2009)

I often ask my mom questions about how motherhood has been for her.  On my bad days, when I'm overwhelmed with the task that lays before me; my entire vocation in life seemingly shattered fragments on the floor, I am desperate for answers on how to keep going.  Her answers are always the same....Trust in God, pray, take it one day at a time.  Sometimes, I just want to hear her thoughts on the simple things about motherhood, how she treasured certain moments, how she kept from frantically grasping at the time passing by.  At 64 years of age (sorry for divulging that #, Mama!) she relates so much that I am grateful for: admonishment, encouragement, snapshots of her life as our mother, wisdom, humility, sadness, conviction.  Every aspect of her as my mom makes me feel that much more assured that I am doing pretty good.  After all, I think I turned out okay, right?  RIGHT?!

On this day, 28 years after my mother celebrated her own 9th mother's day, I am convicted of a very simple reminder: I am called to LOVE my children.  I am called to serve them.  I am called to raise them to have hearts to serve and love the Lord.  There will be times I fail.  I am not perfect.  But in my failure, in my imperfection, I am brought to the Father (often on my knees) for the strength and grace I need to keep going.  Every single mother has this same calling, and this same aide from the Lord to fulfill it.

I wish each and every mother out there a very happy Mother's Day!  May you also be convicted of your vocation, not just today but every day.  May you realize that no matter how old your children are, you are still their mother. You are still called to serve them, to love them, to remind them of God's love and their purpose in this life.  And may you have the wisdom to accept your failures as a means to draw closer to the Lord, and celebrate your successes with humility and thanksgiving to the Father for His strength and grace that allowed them.

And especially to my own mama, I love you!  Thank you for giving me life.  Thank you for loving me and my siblings, and following that difficult set of instructions God gave to you 37 years ago when you became pregnant with your first child.  For every "failure" you have had in raising us, there have been many more successes, and I am grateful to you today and every day for allowing God to move in your life so as to raise us to know Him.

Me and my kiddos today.

Winner for the Coconut Oil Giveaway!

We just did the drawing as the kids were brushing their teeth. My oldest, Angelina, stuck her hand in a bowl full of A LOT of entrants. I was surprised we had so many!!!  Anyway, the winner is.....

*drum roll please....*


KATE!

Kate, if you can give me your info, I will send it on to Tropical Traditions and they will be in charge of sending you out your FREE 32 oz. jar of Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil.  Congratulations!!

For those of you who did not win, perhaps I can do another giveaway soon, if not for another product!   Thanks for entering!! 

P is for Prudence

I thought a lot about what I wanted to write for "P."  I have had a hard time thinking clearly or deeply lately so I was trying to avoid mumbling and rambling about something unimportant, or totally missing the mark on something of grave importance.  I pray that my thoughts on Prudence have some effect on you, my readers, and that through that, you find yourself drawing ever close to the Lord.

Prudence is defined as the ability to discipline and govern oneself by the use of reason.  It is, in essence, considered the Father of all virtues, as it takes Prudence as a foundation to be virtuous in other ways.  Prudence is not about emotions, but knowledge, and rests at the core of who I am as a Catholic and who we are all called to be as Christians in general.  It's an aspect of the connection we keep with God, directing our choices based on goodness and morality.

This past Sunday at Mass, one of our resident priests, Father Tri, was at the pulpit as he usually is for our 11 AM service.  Father Tri is often hard to understand but it's really interesting because when the message seems to be geared directly toward me or my husband, it's like we can understand him perfectly.  This past Sunday was such a time.  His homily wasn't necessarily about Prudence, but about our connection to God and to each other as Brothers and Sisters in Christ.  Father's homily included two very relevant jokes that were both humorous and thought-provoking, and happened to be about people who run a business.  As both my husband and I sat a little straighter in the pew, it dawned on us both that buried in the humor of his jokes was a little nugget of wisdom we needed to be searching for as we listened ever-intently.

Since the landscape season began this year, one thing has happened after another to sort of knock our spirits and bring us to the brink of despair.  There have been many frustrations causing us to question where God is taking us and what, if anything, we are doing wrong.  It's been a huge lesson in humility and patience as we've sort of had to become sitting ducks, waiting on the Lord to provide answers.  But as many of us know, answers don't always come immediately, and not always in tangible forms which are easily recognized and understood.  So....as we have been facing on-again, off-again challenges in our business since March, we are still sitting ducks, fluffing and preening our feathers as the rains of each storm pour down.  (At times, that last statement is quite literal as constant storms and rain delaying projects has been one of the many challenges we have faced!)

The main message of Father Tri's homily, like I said, was about our connection to God.  But as I had been turning over in my head the possibility of writing about Prudence over the previous week, I realized that Prudence plays a huge role in that connection.  We must own the ability to discern life situations wisely.  How do we do this?  Well, in regards to our business, it is seeking His guidance in each and every aspect of our business, especially when challenges arise.  We have an idea of the direction our business is to be taken yet the road to get there is dark and bumpy.  We don't always remember that He is in control.  Sometimes, the decisions we make seem to be the wrong ones.  Even if we have prayed and felt strongly that it's what we are meant to do.

So, there's that word, felt.  Prudence isn't about feeling, it's about knowledge.  For us, it's knowing what God wants from us and making decisions based on that knowledge.  Our knowledge that He wants us to follow and trust in Him has been our beacon of light.  But sometimes that light gets buried in the practicality of running a business, and not knowing which is the best path to take.  Sometimes, what the world says is the best way is NOT the best way.   In the face of practicality (without morality as its vehicle), it's difficult to choose differently.  The world is often telling us that if we want something, we just go after it, we should have what we want.  Making wise business decisions is the way to do it.  But our wise business decisions shouldn't be made for the sole purpose of having what we want.  God has made it very clear to us that what He wants is what is more important.  Wise business decisions in truth should be grounded in Him.  While being prudent does involve practicality, practicality does not have the last say.

Last year my husband was in a situation where he was having a conversation with some people who have been integral members of a very very successful business.  He was discussing our business and how much it has grown in the few years we've been running it, and how, even in the face of a floundering economy, our business has flourished.  When asked what he'd attribute that to, what good business practices could he equate with our success, he looked them in the eyes and said "it was all the Lord.  We couldn't have done it without Him, He is running the show.."  These people looked dumb-founded as he explained our complete and total reliance on God to sustain us through income-less winters, to find us potential clients, and to show us what efforts to make to build our business up.  In reality, he probably seemed much like Noah when he was explaining the coming flood to his fellow towns-people, just like we both did when we first decided to start our business in the midst of a down economy four seasons ago.

Prudence isn't just a virtue, it is a gift.  It relies on many parts to be practiced correctly and the main part is that connection with God.  If we don't connect ourselves to Him, through prayer, petition, thanksgiving, praise, the Mass, the Eucharist, Confession, it is hard to receive the fullness of God's truth and His direction in such matters as business life.  I have noticed that when we sort of step away from Him for a bit, things seem more intensely chaotic.  I don't want to say that bad things happen.  (And I don't want to say "good" things happen even when we are connected.)  But there is something missing when we aren't.  It's tangible.  It's real.  It's solid proof that to be a Christian business owner, we have to put our business in His hands. I can't tell you how many times we've been reminded of this since day one. And really, just like in all aspects of life, it's one of the fundamental truths - connect ourselves to Him, place everything in His hands and let Him guide and He will make straight our paths.

The world has been described as a "dog-eat-dog" world and to get ahead, you have to do whatever it takes.  Success is measured in dollar amounts, position, and the means used to get to the top.  Sometimes, in this pursuit, cunning and prudence are often thought of as the same thing; but this is not actually true.  Not for Christians.  While cunning can often use immoral means, prudence does not; prudence always takes into account the greater good.  It is very easy to overlook that fact when we are trying desperately to stay afloat.     

As I ponder these things relating to the running of our business, I think about life in general, especially life as a mother, and it's hard not to think of measuring my success.  Some would say that the fact that we live on one income and have so many children is not deemed successful at all.  After all, where is our big fancy house?  Where are our many cars?  Where is our six-digit account balance?  How many times have we been told, often by total strangers, that it would be better for us to put the kids in school/day care so I can get a job so we can have all the things we want? 

It is definitely an often-difficult lifestyle.  We have 5 children.  We homeschool.  We own a business and it is our sole income; whether we have a good year or a bad year, it's what we have.  But our connection to God, our reliance upon Him, our ability to practice Prudence in many situations, is what makes it doable.  Yes, I am taking the road less-traveled.  But it's not so I can say "look at me!"  It's not to be a martyr.  It's because it's what God asks me to do.  I could use cunning and make decisions that seem wise that would include putting my children in school and going back to work.  But where is the greater good in that?  The greater good in God's eyes does not equal financial security, or having the means to do and have whatever I want.  The greater good equals a stable family environment which we cultivate by my being home; by running our own business where my husband can be around if we want/need him; by spending time with my children and raising them to have hearts to serve.

In the beginning of my post I described the meaning of Prudence.  In our family, Prudence has played an integral role in both our home life and our business life.  We try to pray continuously, keeping that connection with God, in order to discern thoughtfully, morally and with reason the steps we are to take to make each aspect of our lives successful.  Things might not always seem successful, or easy for that matter, but when the greater good is our goal, when serving the Lord is our top priority, and when we are using moral reasoning, it really doesn't matter how it seems to us or the world.  What matters is what God sees, if He is pleased with our efforts.

So maybe I did ramble and mumble a little bit here...  But it is about something important.  Since thinking about Prudence over the last few weeks and what it means, I have been consciously aware of the fact that we need to be prudent in every situation, especially lately, whether it be about business or family life.  I believe it is a gift; something God buried in our minds to find and use to connect ourselves with Him, just one more tool in our arsenal for this path through life.

O is for Oil....Coconut That Is

I have a new friend.  Name's Coconut; last name Oil.  I really really like her..him..er...it.   I discovered coconut oil about a year or so ago when a friend on a mommy board recommended it to me.  The first kind I ever tried was an Expeller-pressed oil from Tropical Traditions.  However, this post is about a different kind that Tropical Traditions has provided me with to try FOR FREE, and has even offered a FREE giveaway for a friend.  Their highest-quality product in the coconut oil line: Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil, certified USDA organic.

So, if you like coconut oil, or aren't really sure if you do, read on and then make sure you follow the directions for your chance to win a FREE jar of Tropical Traditions Gold Label.

OK, so my new best friend is this gold label coconut oil.  The second link I placed above takes you directly to the page for this product and it has a wealth of information on there.  But you know me, my fellow bloggers and faithful readers, and hopefully you would trust me to give you the truth about my own experience of any product I use for my family.  If you'll note the disclaimer at the bottom of my post, I am under NO obligation to review this product AT ALL, let alone give it a good review, and the free sample (32 fl oz to be exact!!) was mine to keep regardless.  BUT, there is no reason not to review such a product or to not give it a RAVE review!

I use coconut oil a lot.  We use it in cooking, baking, and in our personal care.  If you like or at least don't mind the taste or scent of coconuts, the Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil is a really great choice. It's the highest-quality in the Tropical Traditions line, as I said, and it adds such depth to a lot of dishes.  We've used it in granola, granola bars, grilling/sauteing chicken, sauteing vegetables, baking banana bread and the like.  We also use it as a skin moisturizer, a hair moisturizer/styler and around chapped lips!  Even my husband, who doesn't really care for coconuts, likes the food we use it in.  I love love love it!  There are SO MANY benefits to using coconut oil other than the fact that it tastes great!


Giveaway!   First, a note from Tropical Traditions:

Win 1 quart of  Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil!

Tropical Traditions is America's source for coconut oil. Their Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil is hand crafted in small batches by family producers, and it is the highest quality coconut oil they offer. You can read more about how virgin coconut oil is different from other coconut oils on their website: What is Virgin Coconut Oil? You can also watch the video they produced about Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil:

Tropical Traditions also carries other varieties of affordable high quality coconut oil. Visit their website to check on current sales, to learn about the many uses of coconut oil, and to read about all the  advantages of buying coconut oil online. Since the FDA does not want us to discuss the health benefits of coconut oil on a page where it is being sold or given away, here is the best website to read about the health benefits of coconut oil.

Ok, sorry...I'm required to add all that in!  :-)

To Enter the Giveaway: Simply leave a comment below telling me why you want to win the giveaway and what you would use it for (cooking, baking, personal care, other).  On May 11th (which happens to be my twin brothers' birthday and my parents' anniversary), I will select a winner by putting your name in a hat and having one of my little helpers pull it out.  I will then contact you to get some info from you and Tropical Traditions will ship out your FREE jar of coconut oil for you to start using.

ANOTHER way you can enter the giveaway is if you Subscribe to Tropical Traditions' email Sales Newsletter.  Go there, subscribe and then come back and tell me you are subscribed. No cheating! You need to actually do it!  I'll put your name in the hat twice!



Don't want to wait or risk you won't be the winner?  Click here to purchase your own 32 oz jar of Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil and receive a FREE book about this amazing oil with your order.

 
Also, Check out these links!

There are hundreds of uses for coconut oil!

Recipe Videos!



Disclaimer: Tropical Traditions provided me with a free sample of this product to review, and I was under no obligation to review it if I so chose. Nor was I under any obligation to write a positive review or sponsor a product giveaway in return for the free product.

N is for Nonsense

I did just turn 30 recently right?  I just wanted to check.  Because sometimes, it feels like I am not a grown woman in my 30's with 5 children, a husband, a business and a very very full plate otherwise.  There is a myriad of ways it often feels like this but lately, it's because there has been a stream of drama flowing through my life that I don't think any woman my age should have any part in.  Not that I asked for it.  But I got it nonetheless.

It is a bunch of nonsense.  And in the middle of all of it, I realized there are some people in my life I can't really trust that much.  I also realized that I am yet again being called to be in difficult situations with people just so that I can show them Christ's love.

Darn.

Something about the tendencies of my flesh that makes it really difficult to do this is that I want EVERYTHING laid out in the freakin' open ALL the time.  I don't like secrets. I don't like pretending. I don't even like knowing something about someone else that I shouldn't and then not telling them I know.  I don't like holding back something important just because someone else hasn't asked.  Isn't that the same as lying? I don't like it when people do these things to me either.  I don't like being fake.  I don't like smiling when I just feel like crying.  And yet, sometimes some of these things are so very necessary. Most of the time, depending on the situation they aren't. Not all of them.  And going back to my wanting everything to just be laid out on the table..  I am not a fight-picker.  I don't want this stuff spread out in all its gory truth just so we can fight about it. I want it that way because then we can both/all see what we're dealing with.  Then we can start to understand where the other person is.  Then we can start to pick up pieces, examine them in a positive light, absorb their weight and feeling and every last gritty detail so that we can begin anew in a place of resolve, honesty, love and understanding.

My husband and I do this. Ok, not always; sometimes we fight unfairly.  Sometimes things just get pent up because of fear of fighting, but then come crashing out in a thunderous cascade of anger later. But for the most part, we like to lay things out on the table and figure it out from there. If there is an issue that comes up with a friend, it is usually laid out on the table as well.  There's no sweeping under the rug, there's no dancing around in a secret silent motion, no ignorance of the elephant in the room.  Isn't that how grown-ups are supposed to act?

Sometimes I feel like I just want to be a hermit.  Live my life in my little home and not worry about what goes on outside these four walls.  Then there would be no nonsense.  Not anything I *shouldn't* be dealing with as a wife and mother.  There would be no drama.  There wouldn't be a constant worry of who to trust, who is telling the truth, who really cares. There wouldn't be any need to smile when I feel like crying.   Sometimes, I am just tired of all the nonsense.

M is for Morals

So most of you who know me - and I mean really know me, not just think you do and don't actually understand half of what I'm about - know I have morals high on my priority list!  And you same people know that this was not always the case for me as I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger.  To be honest, back then, following my moral compass wasn't a high priority per se, but that compass was always a constant in my life, something that despite my frequent wanderings away from its direction, gently thudded against my heart no matter where I had stashed it out of sight.

I like to talk about morality.  A lot. And no, it's not out of judgment or out of a need to control. It's out of love and encouragement. It's out of respect and charity; concern and yes, even fear.  As a Christian, I'm supposed to talk about morality. I'm supposed to talk about what God says. I'm supposed to challenge people to seek Him, to be better, to find His path for their life.  It's not hypocrisy.  It's not "I have learned my lesson and so should you."  It's a humble, meager offering of a deep love which I long to give but only God can provide.  It's obeying His commandment to love one another as He has loved me.

I have a really difficult time sometimes shutting up about it.  I wrote about this in the recent year.  But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop!  I have tried to be more abbreviated in my speech, more aware of the other person's place in their walk in life.  I have tried to remember to be charitable and make sure I don't sound judgmental.  I have a problem with that word. Oh boy, do I!  Being judgmental really means that you are deciding that another person's actions/thoughts/words are going to end them up in the hot place.  It's like telling someone else their religion isn't "Christian" (unless of course it's really not, i.e. it doesn't teach Christ as Savior) just because it follows a set of rules and has traditions that date back more than 2000 years.  That's an extreme case of judgment.  But these days, it seems that that word is thrown around so much and it doesn't make sense to me. 

When I am sharing what God desires for His people, trying to encourage others to not engage in X behavior, it doesn't mean I'm judging them.  It means I care and I want to spread the message of God's amazing love.  God does love us, regardless of what we do.  But He also wants us. Badly. And if we aren't following His path for our lives, it's a very sad thing.  Because it means we don't really understand what that love is about.  It means we haven't actually acknowledged it and felt it seep into our very souls, allowing it to change us into the people He has called us to be.  It's sad because not only are we missing out on so much, but we're also running out of time.  The world will not go on forever.  Living our lives running completely against the divine grain which God has created for us will leave us missing out on not only the blessings He planned for us in this life, but the blessings He has planned for us in Heaven.

Matthew 5:17-20 (NAB) says:

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do so will be called least in the Kingdom of heaven. But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.”

This part of Matthew tells me that I am to follow God's commandments (the basis for morality), teach them to whomever I can - especially as a mother, that would include any children given to me by God to raise - and not help others break the commandments in any way.  I have been in situations where I refused to do something that would help someone else break a commandment (like allowing 2 non-married people who otherwise co-habitate anyway stay in the same bed at my house); but it was looked at as judgmental or hypocritical.  But it's not!  It's my job to keep the commandments and encourage others to do the same.  If I help someone else break a commandment or even make it easier to be tempted to ('thou shalt not commit adultery' in that scenario), it's as if I broke the commandment myself.  And my soul suffers because of it; not just the other person's.

Matthew 6:19-20 (NAB) says:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal."

In this day in age, where success and money are a top priority for most people, I'd say this passage is so easy to ignore.  But there is a reason why we are not to worry about such things in this life, and concentrate more on what we're storing up for heaven.  This life is fleeting.  It is so short, we don't even realize it.  We always lament over the passage of time, "I can't believe my kids are so big.."  But we don't actually realize the fullness of that statement; of the passing of our life in general.  I just turned 30 last month.  I honestly can't believe it.  I feel like it was just last week that I was 22 and finding out I was pregnant for the first time.  And here I am, 8 years, 5+ kids, a still-thriving marriage, and 2 dogs later..  And what have I stored up for this life?  Well I'll tell you, not a whole lot.  And to be honest, though it's been tough, I like it this way.  We rely on God.  We don't worry too terribly much about how much money is in our bank account.  Sometimes we worry but we are always called back to the comfort of His arms, gently reminding us to put our trust and faith in Him.  Always.

And what have we stored up for heaven?  Well....this is something I could talk about all day. And not in the way of "look at me!  I'm making waves in heaven!"   It's just an exciting thing to know that God has used me in the creation of life - 7 little ones to be exact - that will go to eternal rest in Him; little souls who will praise and worship Him for all eternity.  (Two are already there.)  I am raising my kids to know and love, serve and follow the Lord. Every time I say "yes" to God and open my heart and my life to another little being to be entrusted to me, I am storing up treasures in heaven.

So what do those two things have to do with morality? When we (as a married couple) close our life to children, or we put money and "success" first in our life, it does something to our hearts.  It turns our hearts inward toward ourselves.  It doesn't open our lives up to the rich blessings that flow abundantly both on earth and in heaven through our complete reliance on God.  It stunts our growth and paralyzes us in many ways. It's immoral to have a selfish heart.  For a selfish heart draws us to do immoral things.

By definition morality is the conforming to the rules directing us on what conduct is right. Right means right; not by our standards but by God's.  We can't rewrite the laws He has set in place for us.  We never have to justify what is right or feel badly because we follow what is right.  We don't even have to justify why we are trying to help others do what is right.  But it seems there is always a need to justify what is wrong.  Why is that?  I think it's our inherent need to follow what is right (like that moral compass I often tried to bury back in my younger years), even if we don't realize that need.  We know somewhere in our hearts that whatever it is, is wrong and we feel guilty, which causes us to want to justify our choice.  The intricate way God designed our spirits to be aligned with His has left room for a long "leash" we often wander out on.  It doesn't take a lot to stretch it far, though it does take much to break it.  But if we do what is right, keep His commandments and follow His path for our lives, we'll find ourselves winding in closer to Him, where we belong.

Where it is right.